Not THAT Into YOU!

This past Valentines Day weekend, I had the pleasure of going on a "poly-ga-date" aka a date which included one single guy (me), and 3 single ladies. The movie for the night...ohhhh

"he's just not that into you"

SPOILER ALERT

I can understand, after 122 minutes of comedy, affairs, breakups, hookups and make-ups that this movie speaks the truth for MOST women out there who run into the guys like Bradley Cooper's character, or how about Ben Affleck or Justin Connolly? After seeing their relationships and how they, overall treated the opposite sex-I can imagine any woman coming away feeling inadequate. Or at least thats how I felt watching each, "6 degrees of separation" esque encounter.

I hate to admit it, (other than the fact that I enjoyed the movie, despite Jennifer Connelly ending up BY HERSELF, AND DIVORCED and Jen Aniston literally portraying HER LIFE IN REAL TIME) But after the credits, my mind was reeling out of control!

What happened to the book entitled, "she's just not that into you?"

I doubt I am the only one who feels this way (and if I am, keep it to yourself) but I was feeling like there was seriously something wrong with me, after watching that movie. I am almost past the prime of my time, and still have yet to be in a relationship of any kind.

THIS GENTELMAN'S CLOCK IS TICKING LADIES!!

Imagine being overwhelmed, hopeless, desperate, inadequate, lonely, sad, paranoid, anxious, frustrated, analytical, and hungry all at the EXACT same time. These feelings were literally devouring my fragile, delicate soul. I could not escape! I was trapped in a cage, while beind prodded with emotions, while the voices were telling me "shes just not that into you."

A great friend of mine, who happens to be a lady, told me that she is tired of asking people what they've been up too, and receiving the response, "Oh you know just doing the married thing" and coming away feeling that she had NO idea what that was like, because she happens to be single and therefore not MARRIED!! She told me that from now on, if she is ever asked the question she will just say, "oh you know, just doing the SINGLE thing. " (Sorry if I totally misinterpreted any of the above Jess, have your lawyer contact my lawyer. Hope you can forgive me)

I immediately felt the light of heaven shining down on me at that moment. I could go on forever about the pros and cons of being single vs. being married, or how about celebrating Valentines Day as "Single's awareness day" and receiving text messages at 7 am wishing YOU a HAPPY SINGLE'S AWARENESS DAY!! You know what....THANKS A LOT! I get it! I am SINGLE! As of right now it feels like it will be FOREVER...and I clearly won't be garnishing the woman of my dreams in flowers, chocolates, and candle wax-but do you need to remind me with a text message at the crack of freaking dawn!?!!

So I have come up with my own personal definition of what it means (to me) as doing the single thing.

Make snickerdoodles and eat the entire batch
(without producing the calories)

Find yourself watching any Jane Austen movie, and by movie I mean Pride and Prejudice and feeling like your a reincarnated version of Mr. Collins rather than Mr Darcy

Going to see "he's just not that into you" with 3 single ladies, ON VALENTINES DAY, and the whole 122 min wondering why there isnt a movie called "SHES just not that into you"

Why none of the ladies you're with ... isn't making out with you-but finding yourself attracted to the female in front with the horse laugh

Being referred to as Peter Pedophile when you enjoy other peoples kids so much

Making up a valid excuse why being single is so great
(hence this definition)

I am hoping one day I will be able to figure out exactly what it is I am doing wrong, and who knows, maybe those of you reading this know WHAT that is...hhmmmmm

This Week EN-RAGE!

I know it has been awhile since my last "This week en-RAGE" post, but there have been a few things that have annoyed me this past week. Thus I have to let it all out somehow, otherwise I may just do something more drastic to release the frustration. Don't worry, you won't be seeing me on Fox 13 for robbing a bank or a Sev' (sorry to disappoint, but Bips not packing heat)

#1. American Idol Season 8

I haven't been on my best behavior, as far as this season of Idol is concerned. Most of you have known me for being quite the fanatic when it comes to the best show on television (or at least it USED TO BE) But I quit watching after the first week, it was just TOO much. They just added so many "new" things this season, new judge (annoying as crap, and she tries too hard to impress), a Top 36 instead of 24...(cant imagine watching 36 compete for 12 spots..and then we still have 12 more to go.) Its like they're trying to draaaaaaaaaaaaaaag it out longer than usual, and they're clearly doing a great job at it too.

If you're like me and want to jump ahead a whole week and see who makes the TOP 36, visit the website below and you can take a glance at the future hopefuls-I am just relieved that I have been saved from prying my eyes out with a spoon, while enduring another week of painful auditions (not that I've been glued to the past couple weeks or anything). Maybe in 2 weeks I will feel like tuning in and actually caring to cast my vote...

But sadly I'm not betting on it.

http://mjsbigblog.com/top-36/

Now that I look at it I may not be so "en-raged" as I thought I was in the beginning. After all, I was able to take a peek into the future, and overall saved my life entirely. PRAISE THE LORD!