So for those of you who take the time out of your busy, hectic, VIP lives to read my "inspiring" words of encouragement, excitement and wonder allow me to offer my gratitude! As you have noticed it has been awhile since my last post, and a lot has transpired over the past 4 months-but unfortunately this post is not going to cover everything that has occurred. Sorry. Let me just sum it all up by saying I've felt like I was sucked into a class 5 tornado and just barely landed back on the cold, solid earth-HARD!
I don't know where my life will take me from here. I wake up every morning literally regretting whats in store. All sense of joy and excitement I had for those "new" experiences have left me with so much disappointment, that I don't care for them anymore.
The only bit of hope I have left resides in the faith that I hold in my lord and savior. Even when there are those moments of fear and doubt that I am all alone, I know that he is there with me dealing with those challenges that I am faced with everyday. There have been many times I have just wanted to throw in the towel and give up altogether, but there is still some strength left in me to 'keep on trucking.' I know what I need to do, but I can't seem to find the motivation to just do it. I have been so comfortable lately in my uninspiring bubble, that doing something different feels like too much work. Its either keep taking the boo-boo train or get off and start walking. Not sure where the road will lead, but I need to take the risk of finding out. I am ready for that sense of accomplishment and success that I have dreamed of in the past, but if I keep procrastinating, that moment probably will evade me for the rest of my life.
I don't want to live the "what if.." I want to live the "I DID IT!" Hopefully all of you can be there to cheer me on as I cross that finish line.