How Say YOU America?! Idolatry All Around

Lets hear if for the performances on the bizarre ''Songs From the Year You Were Born'' theme night!!

Kristy Lee has YET again squeezed her country twang into American hearts (not this guys thats for sure!) As soon as I heard what song she selected to sing, I immediately felt the bowels cramp up. But GOD BLESS YOU KRISTY! For choosing to play the patriotism card-its a sure way to buy you ANOTHER week in the competition! Bring on Dolly Parton! YEEEHAAH

But make sure YOU AMERICA tune in next week when she belts America The Beautiful, followed by Neil Diamond's Were Coming To America, then The Battle Hymn of the Republic, and lastly watch it continue until the BIG Finale when she invades IRAQ!

I admit I wasn't shocked to see Chikezie being sent packing. I knew there had to be something worthy of praise in all its glory. I was hoping it'd be either him OR Jason and his Betty Crocker grass brownies, which he seems to smoke every week. I was however a bit nervous for Syesha...but was relieved to see her receive another pass on GO for another week. But enough with the baby crying imitations ok? Or we may be subjected to you portraying a grown black woman's cry.

And how about we STOP voting for Ramiele and her little person-big voice? Just a thought...

But on to the GOOD stuff..my TOP 3! Whom I will have the pleasure of seeing LIVE on Tour! Can you feel the anticipated excitement?!

DAVID COOK ladies and...well ladies! (I don't have any gentleman recruited into my blog audience as of yet) I thought reinterpreting Chris Cornell's 2007 take on Michael Jackson's original was, as Simon put it, AMAZING! Which means Rocker David will likely be fending off ''rip-off'' and ''copycat'' accusations regarding his performances from here on out as the competition continues. But I dare say these last couple weeks he has done a GREAT job at recruiting me to the ROCK USA fan club!

Lil David Arculeta-So I TOO have never heard the song he performed, but I welcome the ridicule and laughs when mentioning, did anyone else think of Neverending Story?? I immediately drifted off and found myself on the back of Falkor, the dog like dragon with companion Atreyu...

Back to REALITY...

I couldn't help but smile as I was watching him perform. Archie is still another favorite of mine whether he ends up at Lagoon singing in their land of misfited Madrigal themed shows. Theres no hate, just love for all you WJHS Mads out there....show me the choir stare!

Ahh Brooke White and your golden locks of blonde hair. I'd like to see you sing Cabin Fever in a red spitfire dress while dangled over THAT piano...WOW! You just tickle Bips ivory num nums!

Aussie Micheal may have brought me back to the Mighty Duck movies when he sang We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions, and it obviously was a hit with the crowd and the judges, but can we cut back on the foreign charisma, eh mate?! You're not helping us single white Americans who are looking for love....

That leaves you Carly Smithson. Bear down and breathe. Thats all I have to say.

Thank you.


How Say YOU America?! American Idol Review (Or Was It The Beatles Back from the Dead?)

Congratulations Yoko Ohno, assasins, cancer, and one-legged gold diggers, you're no longer the WORST thing to ever happen to the Beatles!

But please allow me to put on a shirt with the word, "Edelweiss" printed across my manly physique, and impersonate Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music by running over a luscious green hilltop, arms wide open, and praising all things green and beautiful by saying:

"Elvira has FINALLY gone home!"

That would be the infamous rock and roll nurse, Amanda Overmyer for those of you reading this, who are dazed and confused, by the above reference. (I honestly thought she resembled the mistress of the dark, Elvira. ) So give me credit where credit is deserved! Her performance of one of the WORST Beatles songs ever made, 'Back in the U.S.S.R.,'' spent her Idol run simply trying ''to show America what they would see if they came to my show and bought a ticket to see me.'' Guess you will end up promoting that small local bar in Lafayette just as you predicted.

Instead, we get another week of — cue slightly off-key fiddles, please! — Kristy Lee Cook!

(As we are subjected to the screams and arm waving from the dreaded Idol ''mosh pit'' and its sorority-sisters-on-meth occupants. No Kappas in that crowd thats for sure!)

I have decided to give up on thinking that Kristy Lee will ever be voted off the competition. After seeing her come out the night before, in what looked like a combination of a Glad lock zipper bag and cellophane WITH her cowgirl boots in toe, I was beside myself (literally.) We might as well declare her the Season 7 victor and cut her a record deal right now! I have never despised anyone as much as I do Kristy Lee...well I take that back, shes up there with Chris Rich and Phil "stalker eyes" Stacey from last year...scary!

I was also very shocked to see that Carly was in the bottom three..but then again she did claim to be the broken-winged blackbird after all.

Which brings us to the previous evening's four most successful performances, three of which I really liked, and four of which left me ambivalent. Let's start with the last one.

#1.) Micheal Johns. Now the aussie has been one of my favorites in this competition, except for this past week. He was bound to fail in his attempt to condense a long and winding number into 90 seconds, and then blame the fact that it was so "terrible" on account because one of his friends who has passed away loved that song...? Ok, where do we go from here? Good thing you mentioned your Hollywood-week performance of ''Bohemian Rhapsody'' in your interview package, all the better to remind voters why we put you into the season 7 finals in the first place.

#2.) Ramiele Maluby. Elevator Music Idol! ZZzzz..When I spend the entire 90 seconds transfixed by a contestant's dazzling eyeliner and over done lip gloss, then there's something missing from the performance. I'm just waiting for her to hit the road RIGHT after Kristy Lee finally takes the hint and packs her bags for good!

#3 AND #4 Goes to the unexplained Jason Castro speaking another language after smoking an entire bowl of french weed and Chikezie, harmonica lessons anyone?!

The four performances that I really enjoyed had to be Syesha's "Yesterday" (which I agree with Simon, should've been sung by Brooke,) I think having her be in the bottom three 2 weeks ago probably shook her up a bit to step it up, I don't know why most people find her to be a bit boring...I LOVE her voice! (See part 1 of How Say You and my infatuation with black women haha)

#2.) David Cook- with his rock-esque rendition of ''Day Tripper'' which was inspired by Whitesnake's cover, and yeah, maybe a 90-second performance doesn't really leave enough time to break out the "vocoder" and make it totally work, this cover found Rocker David singing totally in tune and, as Randy pointed out, delivering his number as if it were part of his own concert, WHERE CAN I BUY TICKETS!? I definitely was a believer and purchased that and Eleanor Rigby on iTunes.

#3.) David Archuleta! A great comeback after last weeks forgotten lyrics! I was literally holding my breath hoping he would come back on top. I was glad to see that he made it into the Top 10 and I can look forward to seeing him on TOUR!!!!!

#4.) Brooke White. Maybe not her best performance, definitely not even close to Let It Be, but how could you not feel the awkwardness as she tried to compete with one of the BEST performances from this entire Season?! I think she deserves to make it definitely to the #4 slot if not further, shes got a really sweet voice that leaves me yearning for the nanny to sing BIP to sleep! Guess seeing her LIVE and ON TOUR will just have to do for the time being.

(Can you just feel the angst for it to be July already!?)

On a final note, being a "family" oriented program I really enjoyed how Ryan introduced Kellie Pickler — his statement that she's "grown in so many ways" and how it elicits several dirty old man chuckles, keep it up Seacrest!!


How Say YOU America?! American Idol Review pt. 4

Wasn't the Beatles concert LIVE last Tues. night the greatest thing since sliced bread?

Ok I have a confession to make. I taped the entire nights episode, (like I do every week with my favorite tv shows) just because I head off to work at 8pm, and because I don't have to worry about missing something vocally amazing. But I didn't get to catch any of those AMAZING performances (Brooke, Micheal, Carly and you David Cook) and ended up skipping the show altogether that night.

By watching the recaps of the performances on Wed night, I was relieved that I didn't put myself through the robotic meltdown of Kristy Lee, the camera leering from David H., and the forgotten lyrics by my favorite, David A.!!


So it all comes down to this. How would you react if Jim Carrey showed up at your workplace to plug his new movie? And what would you ask the judges and Idols if you got to "call in" to the show? Are these the NEW additions to the Season 7 show that we can "look forward" too while waiting to hear who is being kicked off?! I suppose the producers needed to come up with something new, now that there wont be so much overexposure to the guest artists of the night like last year, (THANK GOODNESS!) but now instead we can watch the bottom 3 perform their terrible performances ONCE AGAIN, OVER AGAIN, until it comes down to the last 10 minutes of air time. Gotta LOVE FOX!

I am not going to waste blog space on whether David H. was given his ticket to ride because of his "stressful week" aka overly broadcast news, about his past-but my Idol-atry couldn't be more than thrilled to see him finally exit the stage!! To hear from his exit interview that he was supposedly one of the BEST singers of the season 7 crew was extremely laughable.

As for KC, aka Kristy Lee Cook....she will get hers as long as I KEEP thinking that NEXT WEEK WILL BE THE WEEK...right, I thought that was the case 2 weeks ago. Maybe shes the next Sanjaya??

I am so glad that we will get to listen to more Beatles renditions this next week as well, as if we haven't had enough butchering of classics already.

Once again my DVR will be utilized in its entirety so I can fast forward those intimate moments with KC and her country pop horse manure.


How Say YOU America?! Idol's Top 12 Undressed


Finally a reality show that proved worthy of angelic praise! I was sooo close to turning the heat off on my Idol-atry for good, but tonight brought me back to the dawg pound! WOOF WOOF!

Just try calling me a Mutt Paula...I DARE YOU!

Tear drops keep falling on my head...

Or maybe not..

Remember how I mentioned that Deanis Priscilla and I decided to go at the infamous "bracket" for our Idol predictions? Well let me just say that so far I haven't been scoring the big points, in fact Dean has whipped me like whipped cream every week.

But I definitely came through on this week's predictions...3 out of 4 ain't bad. But I still have a TON of catching up to do if I want to win that tour of the Hogle.

First up is Britney Spears...er...uhh I mean Kady Malloy. Kady's failure, of course, may be good news for the competition's other soulless blonde, Kristy Lee Cook, who sang, um, something, tonight, and didn't miss too many notes, if memory serves. It's just that, uh, I kind of seriously cannot even remember it. Not without fast forwarding back through my DVR. And I just don't care enough about Kristy Lee to do it. She is my prediction to be the FIRST to exit the TOP 12 stage...come on she is NOT that great!! More importantly, I am guessing you don't care enough either. Can we skip Kristy Lee? Yes, I know. There was some cleavage action going on Wednesday night, I mean HEY the more you show the more votes you get right? Shout out to YOU HALEY! aka Leggs.

Danny Norriega

Despite the recent news and postings of his Christmas caroling while dropping multiple F-bombs, I am assuming that all somehow added up to his final exit on the show. Or perhaps America couldn't take anymore crazed sassiness and back talk. AMEN! Granted I did feel bad for him at the end, lets be real here folks, who enjoys seeing a grown woman cry?! Certainly not me! I couldn't help from noticing that before the results were announced, as it was down between him and Jacuzzi; Danny knew it was inevitable and we would get to see his FIERCE thrusting and stalker-esque eye contact as he belted out Tainted Love one more time.

Asia'H Epperson

Let the purge begin with Whitney. Asia'h's grandma pants caught my attention more than her song. Her performance of ''I Want to Dance With Somebody'' sounded as if it was exhausting her. If that was exhausting her, I wonder what physically dancing with somebody would do, LOL! Paula said she nailed it. Not so much. Her spunkiness is suffocating, so you can imagine how elated I was when she left the stage FOR GOOD! I always had the suspicion that she wouldn't make it into the Top 12, non-alcoholic drinks on me America!

Luke Menard

"There is a foul voice in the air!" said Legolas as his piercing elven eyes gazed across the horizon of Middle Earth. That would be the vocal of Luke, Orlando.

It was only obvious when it was down to the last 3 guys, having not sent 1 home yet, that when Luke stood up it was clear he was going to be the first to exit the stage out of the male performers. I must come right out and say it, I voted for him relentlessly last night (next to David Cook) in hopes that it would make him remain in the competition and beat out David H. or Jacuzzi, but alas it didn't do me any justice. Choosing to sing that
WHAM song was not the best choice at all my friend! Your vocal range was definitely unique and different to the show, but just didn't attract many voters. Unless theyre fans of Hugh Jackman and Orlando, like me. Heres to your future!

So there you have it. The Idol-atry has reached its Top 12. The anticipation is finally over! Now we get to sit back and watch the remaining contestants belt out renditions from ‘I Want to Hold Your Hand’ to ‘Got to Get You Into My Life.’

This is one viewer that will be cashing in on his ticket to ride the Yellow Submarine.