Yes, to your disapointment its that time of the week.MORE IDOLATRY NONSENSE CONTRIBUTED BY YOURS TRULY!I applaud those of you who keep coming back for more, despite the anger and frustration I tend to throw out there for everyone to read (and lets face it, I was never one to keep it all built up inside.) Who knows, if the comments keep dwindling week after week (as they have been) perhaps we wont have to put up with it for much longer; and like my once idolized-now soon to be non-existent myspace page, this blog will enter the black hole never to be seen or read from ever again.With that all said...lets get to the knitty-gritty-cold sore-STD inflicted IDOL!This year I may have been a bit uncharitable when I heard that the famous charity event, Idol Gives Back, was coming after our wallets and life savings another season-but I apologize for seeming to be so cold and well..uncharitable. But as impossible as it may appear, I do have a kind heart and I was touched by the event. I did my part by contributing as I began to GO CRAZY by purchasing the performances from Wednesday night on iTunes. So I can official say I found it within myself to give to those desperately in need. See what a kind hearted man I really am underneath all this midget.Now for the remainder of this post, I promise to contain any explicit phrases and keep it calm. Betsy Ross, Martha Washington and yes even Harriet Tubman are all rejoicing once again as Kristy Lee gallops through another week after such an eardrum splitting performance Tuesday night. My disappointment and frustration cannot express how badly this girl needs to get her walking papers to the volcano of no talent. No matter what, thinking that maybe THIS will be THE week for her to FINALLY go...I eat my words with a heaping spoonful of horse manure..all while relating to the fact that she is like a bad cold sore on the inside of your mouth, that constantly reminds you, "HEY..I'M STILL HEEEEEEEEEERE!" YES YOU ARE!
Despite Ryan Seacrest relating the possibility that Johns would not have to leave, (recalling the precedent set by last season's ''Idol Gives Back'' reprieve) the Aussie, who performed Aerosmith's ''Dream On'' was ultimately deported from the Idol stage, and stepping out into the audience to sing the song one more time. I was not a complete gah gah fan over his blood, sweat and even tears-but I definitely assumed those who fell head over heels for his crickey-diggery dingo mannerisms and charisma, would propel him into the Final 3, but like wishing upon a star as I tend to do more frequently than not, I was brought back to the hard, rough surface that is REALITY. I can just admit that the country demons have won and Kristy Lee will be taking MJ's place in the finals...why not? It doesn't work for me to sacrifice small ponies in hopes that the powers on high will finally grant my dying wish to see her get off the honkey-tonk stage for good..except we will be seeing her on TOUR..But anything is better than Amanda Overmyer and David Hernandez..I will take Kristy over the two of them ANYTIME, ANYWHERE! But HEAR ME! If Kristy gets anywhere near taking the title of Idol...I am canceling any further hopes of seeing my blonde-barefoot, ivory tickling nanny, Cookie and Archie LIVE (much to my gut wrenching dismay.)
WHOSE WITH ME!
Farewell to you Ramiele...your lip gloss didn't hypnotize me into voting for you!But I got my cowboy hat, my boot n spurs, all tassled together, and ready to hit yet another week of American Idol performances. This time Dolly Parton decided to accompany me for the hayride. Keep your hands to yourself you BACKWOODS BARBIE!!speaking of Backwood Barbies...
Kristy Lee manages to once again toot her patriotic horn, as she rides through another elimination night on her brown horse (which she intends to buy back AS SOON AS SHE WINS THE COMPETITION)I really enjoy how she "knows" her fate to be in the bottom 3 week after week. The producers should just make a gold plaque with her name on it, and place it on one of the infamous "bottom 3" stools to be displayed permanently. KRISTY TAKE YOUR USUAL SEAT! This should tell us something!! But no, we must subject all forms of humaity to put up with her antics of, flirting with Simon, and blowing his socks off...which I think he is still waiting for (but I 'd prefer to see her blow herself right OUT of the competition altogether) As we all heard her sing a few weeks ago, "Shes proud to be an American." And I'm giving her the middle-fingered salute.DICLAIMER:I, Shay Laval Ludwig, solemnly vow that if Kristy Lee makes it to the top 5, I will surrender my citizenship wholeheartedly and relocate to a small pygmy village in the hills of Mongolia.With that said...lets hope I get lucky and don't have to give up the contestants I DO enjoy. So apparently David Cook (after another amazing performance) had to head off to the emergency room immediately following Tuesday nights show as a result of high blood pressure. I also found out that his brother is currently suffering from cancer as well. Even though he was subjected to giving credit where credit was due last night, (in regards to the last 5 songs he covered-recently covered by other bands,) I think he does a phenomenal job every week! You get the official, BIP STAMP OF APPROVAL , on your ticket to the Finals COOKIE! (Thanks for the nickname Raelynn..its hilarious!)As for another contestant I'd wish to see in the FINALS...Archie!
Aka David Archuleta. I felt a real connection with the song he sang and had goosebumps on top of goosebumps, and for me, that is definitely saying that this kid has got something! Despite the criticism for him constantly licking his lips (which i do all the time) but come on, you need to moisten those important instruments. I also downloaded his performance from 2 weeks ago, and plan on downloading this weeks as well. Call me IDOL NERD #2.I was a bit peeved over the fact that Brooke was in the bottom 3 last night. Maybe its because she is Mormon, and I really get clingy with people of the same faith (just ask my LDS friends) and I cannot bear to see her go so easily. I really want to see her and David A. both make it far!!While were talking about the bottom 3, I personally think Syesha BORE-cado should've been on the stools last night. I must apologize to all of you who have come to learn of how much an avid fan I WAS/USED TO BE of Syesha...but after this week, I cannot say that I feel the same way. I have grown to really enjoy the song, Always Love You, but something was missing..she needs Whitney lessons from last years Lakisha Jones, now SHE has the chords for Whitney! WHOO! Micheal Johns gave a great performance, as usual, but I have a hard time with his diggery dingo facial expressions when he sings. For some reason it looks like he is passing a golf ball sized kidney stone, or maybe he looks so distraught because he's still waiting for his boomerang to return. Carly still seems to be overly excited to make it week after week. But who can't like her irish accent? But I prefer Brooke to be waiting at the end of my Lucky Charms.As for Jason, he just needs to just figure out where he is, and come out of his giggle-weed cloud and realize he is on LIVE television. I think he will be the next to showcase himself as a "regular" in the bottom 3 in a couple weeks.But I can say I am looking forward to Idol Gives Back next week, because we FINALLY get to hear Kristy Lee sing Amazing Grace!! YEEEHAAWWWWWWW!
