Not THAT Into YOU!

This past Valentines Day weekend, I had the pleasure of going on a "poly-ga-date" aka a date which included one single guy (me), and 3 single ladies. The movie for the night...ohhhh

"he's just not that into you"


I can understand, after 122 minutes of comedy, affairs, breakups, hookups and make-ups that this movie speaks the truth for MOST women out there who run into the guys like Bradley Cooper's character, or how about Ben Affleck or Justin Connolly? After seeing their relationships and how they, overall treated the opposite sex-I can imagine any woman coming away feeling inadequate. Or at least thats how I felt watching each, "6 degrees of separation" esque encounter.

I hate to admit it, (other than the fact that I enjoyed the movie, despite Jennifer Connelly ending up BY HERSELF, AND DIVORCED and Jen Aniston literally portraying HER LIFE IN REAL TIME) But after the credits, my mind was reeling out of control!

What happened to the book entitled, "she's just not that into you?"

I doubt I am the only one who feels this way (and if I am, keep it to yourself) but I was feeling like there was seriously something wrong with me, after watching that movie. I am almost past the prime of my time, and still have yet to be in a relationship of any kind.


Imagine being overwhelmed, hopeless, desperate, inadequate, lonely, sad, paranoid, anxious, frustrated, analytical, and hungry all at the EXACT same time. These feelings were literally devouring my fragile, delicate soul. I could not escape! I was trapped in a cage, while beind prodded with emotions, while the voices were telling me "shes just not that into you."

A great friend of mine, who happens to be a lady, told me that she is tired of asking people what they've been up too, and receiving the response, "Oh you know just doing the married thing" and coming away feeling that she had NO idea what that was like, because she happens to be single and therefore not MARRIED!! She told me that from now on, if she is ever asked the question she will just say, "oh you know, just doing the SINGLE thing. " (Sorry if I totally misinterpreted any of the above Jess, have your lawyer contact my lawyer. Hope you can forgive me)

I immediately felt the light of heaven shining down on me at that moment. I could go on forever about the pros and cons of being single vs. being married, or how about celebrating Valentines Day as "Single's awareness day" and receiving text messages at 7 am wishing YOU a HAPPY SINGLE'S AWARENESS DAY!! You know what....THANKS A LOT! I get it! I am SINGLE! As of right now it feels like it will be FOREVER...and I clearly won't be garnishing the woman of my dreams in flowers, chocolates, and candle wax-but do you need to remind me with a text message at the crack of freaking dawn!?!!

So I have come up with my own personal definition of what it means (to me) as doing the single thing.

Make snickerdoodles and eat the entire batch
(without producing the calories)

Find yourself watching any Jane Austen movie, and by movie I mean Pride and Prejudice and feeling like your a reincarnated version of Mr. Collins rather than Mr Darcy

Going to see "he's just not that into you" with 3 single ladies, ON VALENTINES DAY, and the whole 122 min wondering why there isnt a movie called "SHES just not that into you"

Why none of the ladies you're with ... isn't making out with you-but finding yourself attracted to the female in front with the horse laugh

Being referred to as Peter Pedophile when you enjoy other peoples kids so much

Making up a valid excuse why being single is so great
(hence this definition)

I am hoping one day I will be able to figure out exactly what it is I am doing wrong, and who knows, maybe those of you reading this know WHAT that is...hhmmmmm


RaeLynn said...

Awww, I'm sorry you're feeling like crap. It seems like when you're single you want to be married, then when you're married, you want to have kids (at some point) and if you're in my shoes--that doesn't happen so you start to feel all of those feelings and emotions all over again. Then you want a house and you compare yourself to everyone who has a house...anyway, I can sort of understand what you're feeling b/c I thought I'd never get married. I'm not going to say "just keep truckin' along" or "when the right one comes along, you'll know it". I think those are cliche and trite. Just know that I'm sorry you're feeling down!!

Jessica said...

Oh Bip, you need to not be so hard on yourself. Coming from another perpetually single person - it's really not the end of the world.

Being single doesn't have to mean being pathetic, lonely, or hopeless. In fact, since my return to the "single scene" I've found it to mean quite the opposite. It has made me realize that I'm responsible for my own happiness - first and foremost. And while one day I'd love to share my life with someone, I'm also learning to be content with the fact that if that doesn't happen for me - I'm going to be ok.

On a lighter note...

I don't think our lawyers need to get involved, but I don't recall ever having that marriage/single thing conversation haha.

And, you may not want to tell people your list of what it means to be single includes being called "Peter Pedofile" haha.