Its been awhile since I've posted...but I'm beginning to realize that the better posts are the ones that inspire you to write.
This is one of those moments..
Today I had a case of the nostalgia tears. I most likely made up that word, so dont go scrambling through Webster's looking for the definition.
It all began this afternoon, when I met a really influential, amazing friend for lunch. This lunch was different from all the other lunches we've had, because it was to be our last (for now.) She has been offered a job in Ohio, and will be moving within the coming week.
I never thought she would move. She's been here for the past 10 years. Grew up in Logan, and went to the University of Utah, where we met, 7 years ago. I've always admired her as a person, and she inspired me each and everyday! Now that she is moving on to bigger and better things, I began finding myself losing those memories we've shared, and that I've held onto for so long. As we said our goodbyes, I promised myself I wouldn't be emotional, and we parted with the best wishes for one another in our lives to come. As I approached my car, I started to cry. I was losing someone important to me, and I couldnt handle it. I will always remember the good times we've shared, and hope that she does too.
Later this evening, I was taking the trash to the street. We're repainting our entire interior of the house, and our couches, which we've had for 10 years, are sitting outside, waiting to be hauled off to the dump to make room for new ones. I lost it again, and started crying. I began to wonder what was wrong with me. I didnt want the couches to go anywhere!! So many memories surrounded these couches, such as the previous homes we lived in, more memories where these couches were apart of my life! We had them before my parents got separated, before my younger brother got married, and before my sister moved away. Now they were to be out of our home forever. Taking the precious memories with them.
I clearly dont like to say goodbye. I just dont know why moving on is an essential part of life. I just wish time could stand still, and the memories never fade. I'm losing my friends to new jobs, a marriage, and I am the only one still in the same position I was when I first met them.
If I dont figure out what it'll take to move forward...I probably never will. Hopefully I can find a way, and find the comfort and love in the end.