How Say YOU AMERICA?! American Idol Review pt. 1

Ok so I have become an AVID fan of American Idol ever since last season. As most of you already know from hearing it from my own lips, you knew that I acted like a giddy school girl when I would mention how much of a fan I was of Blake Lewis from the Season 6 crew.

It grew even more so when Jessica and I had the pleasure to enjoy VIP seating at the American Idol Concert Tour last summer, and I got to see my favorites, Blake and Lakisha, perform Live!! It definitely was the highlight of 2007 for me, next to the amazing birthday I had (even though I turned 26 that year which is nothing to praise Jesus about, but my friends made it memorable.)

I have begun my journey on the American Idol Soul Train, by bringing you my thoughts, gripes and groans from this years Season 7 contestants! Fasten your seat belts and dance like theres no tomorrow, because this is going to be a bumpy blog!

This year Season 7 has been overly hyped up to be THE best season. I can honestly agree somewhat, but after viewing the performances both Tues. and Wed. night I wasn't exactly jumping out of my skin. I did come away however enjoying a couple guys and a few girls, but wouldn't say they contributed (as Randy "DAWG" Jackson says) that WOW, SLAYING factor. So bring back Sarah Michelle Gellar and have her open up a can of Vampire Slayer whoop ass!

My opinion could also be that I'm not a music major nor a chorister of a 50 piece brass and wind orchestra, (you can look for that in my next life) so whose to say I know what I'm complaining about. However, my perspective could also be a result of the fact that I am just partially confused and annoyed with anything that comes out of Paula Abdul's mouth.

YES I SAID IT! Have your Mighty Ducks meet me on the ice Emilio!

Don't get me wrong, I dance like theres no tomorrow with my cold hearted slave, and straight up I'll tell her if I really want to love her forever. But as of right now, she needs to say either she liked the performance or not! I don't want to hear how BEAUTIFUL or FUN the contestant looked, I want to know if YOU, Paula, think the performance deserves to be voted for. And not if they contributed to one of the many colors of the damn rainbow.

But Paula you are Forever My Girl!

So the results from tonights show, 2 guys and 2 girls were voted off. But lets speak frankly for a second here, wouldn't you think the 30 million something odd voters out there (me being 1 of them) would want to weed out the terrible singers/performances from the ones who have the pipes AND the potential?!! Of course not, thats why its entertaining right?

This Season, Jessica and I have decided to do a bracket for each week. By choosing which guys and girls will be voted off, and therefore gain a certain amount of points for each one we get correct. Ending up in a complimentary tour of Hogle Zoo. HOORAY! So generally I thought I had this IN THE BAG!! But perhaps my over confidence and competitive edge made me lost sight of how AMERICA votes whose good and whose bad (remember last year's Sanjaya?? Not a pretty sight!)

Joanne Borgella

It came down between her and Amanda Overmyer (who I think looks like Elvira) and I was SO disappointed that America chose the plus size model, Joanne, to leave. I admit that her first performance was not that great, partly because we didn't get to see most of her performances during Hollywood Week, probably because Fox couldn't stop relating the sad, sad, irish tale of Carly Smithson and her horrible visa incident. WHO CARES! But Joanne was one of the girls I was pulling for to make the Top 12. It could also be the attraction I have to plus size black women who hold a special place in my white man bosom, but I think she deserved to show us exactly that vocal range she talked about. I was REALLY torn over this outcome, and it probably will ruin the rest of the Season for me because YOU Amanda Overmyer sang a scatt-datt-enn-doo-doo-crap-whack song and if anyone likes that kind of music genre probably resides in the hills of incest hood.

The other girl to leave was Amy Davis, who I knew right after she performed that horrible song was going to be the first to leave the stage so gimme some points America, or was it TOO obvious??

Colton Berry

Now Colton wasn't one of my favorite guys, but I thought he sang a better song than half the guys Tuesday night. So again, I was very upset and frustrated when America dropped the ball by sending him home. Maybe his reference to Ellen will get him a guest starring role on her show and she can promote his solo album. But he and a few other contestants are under the age of 18 and still have their lives ahead of them, but I thought that Chikeze definitely needed to be voted off for his terrible Diana Ross rendition, but what do I know?

Lastly, I'm sad to see you go Garrett Clark, but at least you got to look like Micheal Jackson on your last night on the American Idol stage! Don't let the mic stand hit you on the way out.

Hopefully next week America can regain consciousness and this time eliminate YOU Jason Yeager, David Hernandez, Chikezie Eze, Amanda Overmyer, Aish'a Epperson, Alexandrea Lushington; because God knows if either of you make the Top 12 this will be one "avid fan" that will turn the TV off on Idol for good!


Katie & Justus said...

You still watch this show? I have no idea what has gone on for the past 3 seasons! I just know who wins!

Jessica said...

Yes, I loved your recap... especially the part about Paula hahaha. I mostly agree - I don't think Colton should have been voted off so soon and I would have liked to see the weird curly haired kid for one more week. On the girls, I'm not as heartbroken haha.