3.06.2008

How Say YOU America?! Idol's Top 12 Undressed

PRAISE JESUS!

Finally a reality show that proved worthy of angelic praise! I was sooo close to turning the heat off on my Idol-atry for good, but tonight brought me back to the dawg pound! WOOF WOOF!

Just try calling me a Mutt Paula...I DARE YOU!



Tear drops keep falling on my head...

Or maybe not..

Remember how I mentioned that Deanis Priscilla and I decided to go at the infamous "bracket" for our Idol predictions? Well let me just say that so far I haven't been scoring the big points, in fact Dean has whipped me like whipped cream every week.

But I definitely came through on this week's predictions...3 out of 4 ain't bad. But I still have a TON of catching up to do if I want to win that tour of the Hogle.

First up is Britney Spears...er...uhh I mean Kady Malloy. Kady's failure, of course, may be good news for the competition's other soulless blonde, Kristy Lee Cook, who sang, um, something, tonight, and didn't miss too many notes, if memory serves. It's just that, uh, I kind of seriously cannot even remember it. Not without fast forwarding back through my DVR. And I just don't care enough about Kristy Lee to do it. She is my prediction to be the FIRST to exit the TOP 12 stage...come on she is NOT that great!! More importantly, I am guessing you don't care enough either. Can we skip Kristy Lee? Yes, I know. There was some cleavage action going on Wednesday night, I mean HEY the more you show the more votes you get right? Shout out to YOU HALEY! aka Leggs.

Danny Norriega

Despite the recent news and postings of his Christmas caroling while dropping multiple F-bombs, I am assuming that all somehow added up to his final exit on the show. Or perhaps America couldn't take anymore crazed sassiness and back talk. AMEN! Granted I did feel bad for him at the end, lets be real here folks, who enjoys seeing a grown woman cry?! Certainly not me! I couldn't help from noticing that before the results were announced, as it was down between him and Jacuzzi; Danny knew it was inevitable and we would get to see his FIERCE thrusting and stalker-esque eye contact as he belted out Tainted Love one more time.

Asia'H Epperson

Let the purge begin with Whitney. Asia'h's grandma pants caught my attention more than her song. Her performance of ''I Want to Dance With Somebody'' sounded as if it was exhausting her. If that was exhausting her, I wonder what physically dancing with somebody would do, LOL! Paula said she nailed it. Not so much. Her spunkiness is suffocating, so you can imagine how elated I was when she left the stage FOR GOOD! I always had the suspicion that she wouldn't make it into the Top 12, non-alcoholic drinks on me America!

Luke Menard

"There is a foul voice in the air!" said Legolas as his piercing elven eyes gazed across the horizon of Middle Earth. That would be the vocal of Luke, Orlando.

It was only obvious when it was down to the last 3 guys, having not sent 1 home yet, that when Luke stood up it was clear he was going to be the first to exit the stage out of the male performers. I must come right out and say it, I voted for him relentlessly last night (next to David Cook) in hopes that it would make him remain in the competition and beat out David H. or Jacuzzi, but alas it didn't do me any justice. Choosing to sing that
WHAM song was not the best choice at all my friend! Your vocal range was definitely unique and different to the show, but just didn't attract many voters. Unless theyre fans of Hugh Jackman and Orlando, like me. Heres to your future!

So there you have it. The Idol-atry has reached its Top 12. The anticipation is finally over! Now we get to sit back and watch the remaining contestants belt out renditions from ‘I Want to Hold Your Hand’ to ‘Got to Get You Into My Life.’

This is one viewer that will be cashing in on his ticket to ride the Yellow Submarine.


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